Sunday, May 27, 2007

Healing Journey Of Love......

I was faced with a reality in which each day was possibly my last day, each hour my last hour, and I recognized that for whatever limited time I had remaining, I wanted to be happy with my family.

Living a compromise made no sense to me. Since each day was possibly the last one I would ever have, I wanted to do what makes me happy, whatever my heart was asking for. It didn't make sense for me to do things I didn't enjoy just because someone else thought it would be not be good for me. Their loving intentions were recognized, but I knew it was not my way. My path to healing had to include a sense of enjoyment in all that I did, and I had to be true to myself, to be real. I had to believe in the recovery process.

I was presented with the idea that our perceptions create our reality, and I realized that I had to reprogram my consciousness to create the perception that I was well. I was not prepared for such an abrupt shift from the perception of being so unwell and unhappy, but I realized that I could much more easily create the perception that I was getting better and better, until I was indeed well.

I had had the perception that I was in a state of deterioration, getting closer and closer to losing a game I didn’t want to be a part of in the first place, and I knew that if I were to have as the end result the perception that I was well, I would have to change from getting worse and worse to getting better and better. I also knew that the turn-around could happen in any moment. It was a matter of turning a switch in my mind, and insisting on knowing that it had been turned. I decided that if the moment of change could be any moment, then let it be now before I turned into a piece of furniture around my house.

I felt a shift in my consciousness after my very good friend and her husband took my daughter and I to this very spiritual place.
It left me in a state of confusion for days and I knew then that I was in a state of improvement.
Though many more unpleasant things still happens without a reason and have given up on knowing why or how it happened.

I also knew the importance of maintaining the integrity of that decision, and of that moment. I knew that all of my perceptions had to reinforce the idea that I was now getting better and better. For example, I could remind myself as I ate whatever food I wanted, that it was exactly what my body needed to accelerate the healing process and etc.
My heart and my mind looked for more and more ways of knowing that the improvement was happening.

I knew I had to stay away from those people who insisted on seeing me as fragile or an ill luck person. They are not doing me any good anyway. Not to mention those who abandon me in my most desperate times. Can't blame them anyway and I do not want to.
Not from any lack of love, but just to maintain my own positive attitude toward my healing process.
I had to be with people who were willing to encourage me on this seemingly impossible task I had set for myself.
When I was asked how I was doing, I insisted on answering, "Better and better," and seeing how that was, in fact, true.

I knew that it was vital to maintain the positive programming and that putting myself in a relaxed state of mind and talking positively to myself for fifteen minutes everyday, was a part of the programming process I should in no way interfere with. There were temptations to not do the relaxations, and then I would remind myself that my life was at stake.
Any temptation, then, was something that stood between me and my life, and had to be removed, so that I could live on and be with my family and loved ones.

At first, it was very difficult. I found that the integrity of the moment of change was easily compromised, by my thoughts or words acknowledging anything other than the idea that I was improving, and I had to be honest with myself, and see that, and then know that I "do not have any choice."
Then, I could tell myself that what had happened was just a practice run, and that the real moment of change was now.

It got easier and easier. I was able to maintain integrity for just hours at first, then a day, then two days, and then I was solid.
I knew the program was working. I was able to recognize the doubting voice inside, and know that it did not represent truth.
I was able to identify with the encouraging voice. It became my guide, leading me back to myself as much as possible.

I was more and more able to maintain the signs of knowing that positive changes were happening. When I was not feeling a symptom, I told myself that perhaps now I would never feel that symptom again. If I experienced the symptom after that, I told myself that the process was just not yet complete, and that indeed I was feeling the symptom less than I had before.(symptom goes back to the many months of blood vomiting, oh! what hell days and nights)Not forgetting those two beautiful voices of my kids telling me.......we want our mummy back! That was enough for me not to give in to the other side which was not suppose to be here.

I had to know that positive changes were happening now, possibly just at the threshold of notice-ability, so I could eagerly anticipate evidence to justify my perceptions.
Naturally, I was always able to find something, and so assure myself that it was not something I was just imagining, but real, and more strength was added to the process with the love and understanding of my family.

I found myself having less and less in common with my old friends. It was as though we had shared whatever that means, and suddenly I found myself having few things to communicate with. I had to find new friends to have someone to talk or share with.

I found myself being attracted to new friends, and them to me, as though I had become selectively magnetic, and letting go of certain elements of my reality were being released that were no longer in sync with the new Being I was becoming. I knew the process was inevitable, and should not be interfered with.

I developed a sense of compassion and understanding at that time. I knew that my life depended on releasing all elements of my life not in accordance with my new vibration. When it becomes a matter of life and death, the choice becomes a clear one, and simple, although not always easy.

I began each day as a process of self-discovery, with no preconceived notion of who I was, yet with a willingness to discover the emerging Being, and a sense of delight with each new discovery.

As I transformed my way of "Being", my lifestyle has changed dramatically.

It no longer makes any sense to go round pleasing people that are filled with negativities. I learn to get use to the idea of doing what I really want to do and not doing what I really do not want to do, and trusting my trip, listening to my inner voice. Most of all I have learn to say NO when its a NO! It’s a decision I have never regretted.

With what I learned of the body/mind relationship from my experience and during my own healing process, I developed a model of healing as a way to organize in my own mind what had happened for me, and what had worked.

I gradually became involved in healing others again when conditions seemed to demand that and in doing that I saw more and more examples of the body/mind interface covering many other problems. The model of healing I was using became more and more coherent and multi-dimensional.

The work I do now as a healer(a light worker) and teacher is meaningful to me, important to others as well, and is of service to humanity, the way my friends provided me (especially my kids) during my darkest times. I have a strong sense of doing my life's work. I know that I am doing what I came to this planet to do. I know it is right. It's not a feeling that I had so strong before.

I discovered the joy of sharing my experiences(though not in details) and ideas with others, and watching them benefit as they put the ideas to work in their own lives. All these were done while I was doing healing for them and with them. Some were even taught by me and I am glad in many ways I was guided to do so. Especially so, when things work out well for them. Bless them!

It may seem as though the individual had awakened from a dream, yet there seemed no difference between the dream and reality. Things made sense in a different way. A perceptual filter will have been removed; a filter through which values had been determined, and without that filter, truer values will become evident. The "new" Being may even have different tastes in food and/or clothing, and different personal habits. It will be a welcome transformation.

While instantaneous change is always possible and available, most people do not seem to be prepared for so abrupt a shift in their way of Being. Gradual change seems generally more comfortable for the Being involved, as well as for others in the Being's environment.

With instantaneous change, there is the experience of sudden clarification of what had been obscure, and a sense something like what might be experienced by a Being suddenly finding itself in a body, and watching a movie unfolding around itself, a movie that had just begun (I was watching a movie without an ending for such a long long time). It is just spread out over a longer period of time. The same issues keep repeating. I want changes to be made. In addition, only I can maintain the single-mindedness of this journey's purpose.

To those people close to the me, it could be a very confusing time, as well. It could seem as though the person they had known me to be, had suddenly changed in a way; gone crazy. Habitual patterns of behavior and responding would suddenly no longer be there, and it could be very confusing. For my own health and well-being, however, I hope they would be totally supportive of this new Being, since attempts to re-create the old me was never successful.

Accepting Me.......As Me! Life must again be harmonious, and the body's state of health and well-being indicate that the Being has returned to balance, and may now identify with the way they are. The transformation and healing will then be complete.

When an individual who has been out of balance has made the decision to return to balance, they must make it a high priority project. Nothing else must be more important; a priority I took upon myself as I began this journey. When there has been the recognition of a path to health, nothing must interfere with that path. The development and maintenance of a positive mental attitude is imperative.

Within my Being, within my consciousness, is the ability to love, to perceive without judgment or expectation, to care. We have a potential for infinite love, whether or not we choose to recognize it, and whether or not you choose to manifest it. In fact, this love is the very nature of all humans.

We have the ability to love wherever there was a perception of a lack of love, or a call for love. Love heals.

We have in our consciousness the potential and ability to heal anything, on any level, in ourselves as well as in any other Being, since it's all just love and energy. What remains is for us to realize this fully and actualize that potential.

Open up your heart and love.........and Love does heal.

In many ways I have learned tough lessons throughout the rather eventful time for the past two years, and I have many dear friends to thank. They were angels who held my hands through my pitch dark days and I thank the Universe for sending me these friends. I shall hold them close to my heart.

My family who never gave up on me no matter how difficult times were then. I would never be able to make it here without them.

May I continue with this healing journey of mine till the end of my Time!

Thanking my Masters, Angels and Spirit Guides with Love.


SkyHorse said...

Lady Jade,
The healing journey of yours will soon reaching the end of tunnel with light breaking the darkness entirely.

Positive begets positiveness, I wish you become stronger as your each day ends with the positive people around you translating the energy into the power of recovery.

With love and blessing,

Love Life Light!

Soul_Voice said...

Thank you Sam for being my friend..

With blessings and love always.

AHH said...

To Love is To Be Loved
The Greatest Source of Strength

With Love Always,

Anonymous said...

Lady Jade,

You are stronger and stronger day by day because you have choose to have a strong positive mind and soul.

No matter how you've changed, changing to a positive strong you will always get suport from all of us...we will always be beside you.

KS Cheah said...

My Darling,

You cannot imagine the joy in my heart as I read this post. I have sensed for some time now that you have been scouring your heart and even the Net for the right words to express your thoughts and feelings about the ordeal.

It is never easy when a major part of your healing journey has to do with ignoring the affliction and the consequential trauma; yet paradoxically to heal, you needed to dwell on it in search of clarity. You sought clarity of thought in words and Darling, you have found the words. The abating symptoms are proof that you have somehow managed to make two things that are mutually exclusive, concomitant! That My Darling is the miracle of you.

Darling, your determination in the face of grave uncertainty is the hallmark of exemplary character; it resulted in your conscious decision to alter your perceptions thereby changing your attitude towards the adversity. That mental switch you flicked was the positive affirmation which was needed to effect an immediate change that was both demanded and urgent. Very significantly, the confidence and serenity that the re-affirmation J & P led you to was divine. Theirs together with A & P are favors that cannot be repaid and friendships that cannot be measured; you are indeed blessed.

Darling, your words tell me you have triumphed in the mental and emotional conflict within you and as you trek on, the body has to heal and it will indeed. To me, the most remarkable thing about the conscious “transformation of your Being” has been the conscious decision to Love.

Darling, through you I have learnt that it is all so easy to feel Love yet conscious decisions to give Love is an entirely different concept. Your healing has been with Love and it is also Love that results from the Healing; this is indeed a precious realization. I have gleaned this from your loving thoughts and actions throughout your healing process and the words that you choose here.

In this post, I see you have not only succeeded in crystallizing your own thoughts but have put together a message that carries hope, comfort and inspiration for us all in our own lives. What is that if not an act of Love and altruism?

My Darling, I love the you of today as I have loved you since the day we met. For all the trials and tribulations, one thing has not and will not change in essence and that is your Beautiful Soul. I can only see it evolving towards higher planes. That is what I love in you and that is why I will always love you.

In conclusion Darling, let me assure you that I will do my utmost to maintain an environment conducive for you to seek greater truths and do greater good. My Darling, it is time for you to get off your frantic “hurdle race” and join me in the less frenetic steeplechase as we all race against time to make the most of our Universal Energy.

…….May The Force Be With Us.

Your Loving Husband

Soul_Voice said...

Dear JILL...
Love your loved ones, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.

Blessings and Love always.

Soul_Voice said...

Dear Yen Feng,
Thank you for your nice comment and here is something to remember me by..

@As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.@

With blessings and love.

Soul_Voice said...

Thanking you with love......
The Wind Beneath My wings.

I carry your heart with me all the time(I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it(anywhere
I go you go, my dearest.
And whatever is done by me can only be done with you beside me.

I fear no fate(for you are my fate,
I want no world(for me, you are my world, and its true)
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant.
And whatever a sun will always sing is you.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows.....

Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud.
The sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than souls can hope or minds can hide.
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.....
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.

I carry your heart for I carry it in my heart always and forever.

In the name of Love, Light and Blessings.

Anonymous said...

The love you show me, nothing compares,
You have shown me what love is all about,
Your love has turned my heart inside out.

I never want to be without you in my existence.
My world, heart,and soul, have a better view,
Your love for me has been a subsistence.

Thank you for your Love...

With Love,
Hui Sin

Soul_Voice said...

Dear Hui Sin,

Such a lovely message touches my heart for sure. Could feel the love from your heart to mine...:)

In blessings, love and light.

Soul_Voice said...

This mail is from a very dear friend of ours who held my hands during some of my dark hours....posting it here to share with all...Thank you always.
-------------------------------------Hi Jeannie,

Such wonderful news! What you have written in your blog is such a relief to me and I rejoice with you. It seems strange and yet not at all surprising but just recently I have had 2 events or meetings with people who said and did things so similar to what you have said.

the first was a Tibetan nun who spoke about the Tibetan healing of "taking and giving". She explained it as focusing on someone who is in trouble, sick or in pain and contemplating firstly that with every breath you inhale, you take away the pain from that person like black smoke. Then with every breath that you exhale, you give that person white light. Even as she spoke that night, I thought truly of only you, my friend and I have tried to focus white light on you every time I have done this meditation. I don't know if it helped but I feel that this was the only way I could be of any help to you.

the second was this French woman who came to interview our President. Her partner was diagnosed with cancer of the lymph nodes. They went through the whole medical trauma, he had chemotherapy etc. etc. But the big difference was that he did not stop there. He made it a point not to just lay back and wait. Instead they took the positive steps to eat right, think right and always be positive. He started daily positive visualisations - what he visualised was all these cleaning ladies who were cleaning, scrubbing and washing away all the rubbish in his body. They did this for some time and one day when they went back for a check-up, the doctor was speechless because there was not a single trace of the cancer in his body.

She also told us of a little boy who had a tumour in his brain. He visualised he was playing a video game where he was constantly shooting his guns at this huge ball - just like an alien attack game - he did it everyday and then one day he told his father he couldn't play this game anymore because there wasn't anything to shoot at. When they went for his X-ray, the tumour had disappeared.

What you are doing is so right - you have to surround yourself with positive energy and when you concentrate your love and compassion on helping others, you certainly are helping yourself. So I'm really so happy that things are working out well for you and that you have found the way to get out of that hell hole you were in! I just cannot tell you how happy that makes me feel!

Now I know that my friend is truly on the mend! Be well and happy, Jeannie and continue the good work that you do to help others! Truly if we can work towards helping others with love and compassion, we will receive the rewards a thousand fold in return!

Lots of love and light


Chee Hoe said...

Lady Jade,

Your posts have always been a great inspiration for me to fall back to.

Everyone needs to love and be loved as love is the sourse of all life.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Mummy,

JJ and I have thoroughly read mummy’s blog entry and having gone through the things which mummy has blogged about, we understand and feel you. What we, as the children went through during that period is something which I would not wish upon anyone else’s children. We have, at times felt helpless as there were no clear-cut solutions to anything and we depended mainly on trial and error. We only knew and understood that we had to give and show our full support.

We are glad that mummy is now at a healing stage and that what mummy went through appears to have strengthened mummy’s spiritual foundation. It is a good thing that mummy chose this path and we wish that mummy continue walking this path.

J.J. and I have learnt so much from the experiences and I am sure that the lessons learnt will serve us well into our adult life. But in my opinion, what is important now is to look towards the future without dwelling too much on the past.

We are both delighted that we are slowly but surely getting our mummy of old back. Now for J.J. and mummy to put on some weight and for me to lose some weight.

With lots of love,
Krystyn and J.J.

Soul_Voice said...

My dearest children,
With tears in my heart, I am truly sorry to have put both of you through something which you guys do not deserve. Being such wonderful beings, both of you are my biggest achievements in life.

The path ahead for both of you will be as clear as can be and I am very sure of that. Mummy have always been a strong believer of this quote:

*Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.*

But both of you will always have a very special place in my heart that no others can ever enter.

You guys are the main reason for my choosing to want to get up and walk on and together we shall.
May the Universe bless both of you with the best they can offer.

With my blessings and love always and forever.

Anonymous said...

Mummy, as you taught me throughout the years, everyone has their ups and downs. I can understand what you are going through as I had been with you for so many years and hopefully more years to come. I tried to be there for you as often as I could but may i say I need your forgiveness for the times I coudnt… our journey in life had cross path and destiny had made us to be with each other, loving as mother and son. You are a very special soul bless with strength and wisdom mummy, hold on to that. You need not to worry as we are always behind you supporting you visibly and invisibly. Healing is not a short journey… if it is then hurting would be not as painful is it? Life is just a chance to grow a soul.

KS Cheah said...

Hey Melayu! I dulu ingat you ni buta huruf. Looks like I was wrong about you. Now go use your writing skills to tackle sudah lama tak ada girlfriend.

"Life is just a chance to grow a soul" This is really profound and has wide implications.

Soul_Voice said...

And why are you leaving the same comment on both blogs leh? Buta betul this god son of ours....geez!
Papa ask you go tackle gals ar? Here is what mummy says.......!

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.
If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?
There you go...loud and clear.

Love always....Mummy.