Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Wind Beneath My Wings.

Nothing to do?
Go take a nap was what I intended to do.
As I lay down and try to sleep, somehow there is this feeling that on this day I need to write something from my HEART!
Asking myself, what is there to write? An answer came to me and say........if you go into your room where you always find comfort in, you'll know what to write.
I did that. Went downstairs, into my prayer room and sat there very quietly and it came to me.
A special day to write something special is what I am going to do and here it goes............

Every minute of the day for such a long time, I struggled desperately to understand what had happened?
Why am I going through what is happening to me.(for those who knows)
Just when I thought I had found the joy in living,laughing,learning,loving and in tune even with nature and peace.
How could all these disappeared all of a sudden? (reaching out for the box of kleenex by this time)

For my entire life, all I ever wanted was a peace of mind, love and be loved. Anything wrong?
Its been a long time now that I have been hiding this part of myself from others.......sadness,lost of confidence, feeling very misunderstood and alone.
My quality of life is not the same anymore and I was asking myself when will it return?
I also realised that my smiles were not for myself anymore but for others and that's what they expected from someone like me anyway.
I was wearing a mask on my face, day in and day out that it became so natural for me to do so.
People and friends who do not understand or wish to, would tell me things like...........................!!
Do you think I am even bothered to listen for my heart is bleeding in pain?
No problem, smile and say thank you.

I live in hopes of what tomorrow will bring.
Of course, we can only hope and want to wish for the "good" things.
We all know bad things happen, but we generally don't expect them to happen to us.(till it does)
If we really knew the future, I am sure many of us would alter our behaviour profoundly.
Since we don't, however, we simply move along, oblivious to the fact that disaster may happen at any moment.

One of the most profound lessons after all I have been through and still fighting it.
I have been taught that the only guaranteed moment is This One; therefore, if we live our lives expecting a future that may not exist, we may regret our choices forever.

This knowledge have inspire me to want to change the way I interact with my family and with others.
We may choose to treat those we care about with extra attention and sensitivity every moment of the day, or we may plod on about our lives, oblivious to the reality that each moment could be our last-----or theirs.
It only takes a little more effort to listen with our hearts open, to give an extra hug or to say kind words.
A moment given now may prevent a lifetime of regret.

*The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone*

This title/song have a very special meaning to me. I sing this song in times of sadness and happiness.
The lyrics remain the same, only the feeling is different but always with love and I only sing it to one person.
I have chosen this date/day .............for if I have not been at the right station waiting for the right train to come along and get on board.
The love of my life would not have come along.

April 4th.......truly a special day for Keat and I.

Dedicated to the one and only man of my life, Keat.
Thank you for being with me through the good and bad times.
Thank you and thank God for you.........The Wind Beneath My Wings.

Child Of The Universe

I am a child of the Universe, beautiful to behold,
Loving and giving,
No less than the stars above.....
No more than the seas below,
Loved ......Protected......
Guided by Beings of Love seen and unseen,
I Deserve to be Infinitely HAPPY and HEALTHY,
I Release my tears, my grief, my hurt, my pain,
To the LIGHT of LOVE.......
I Surrender my aches, and all of my ills to the Universe,
for my own highest good.
I gather all of the love and all of the joy for me.
As it is always meant for me.
I deserve the abundance of the Uiniverse.
I am the JOY, the LOVE, the POWER, the STRENGTH of me................

All the love you give away,
comes back each day to fill your heart.